I thought I would start my blog with a little back story about myself. I have been clinically obese since I was at least 8 years old. I knew I was bigger than other kids and picked on for it but had never been called obese though I knew what it meant. Kids stuck to the usual names like fat, fatty fatty 2×4 and such. I remember distinctly reading my parents divorce papers and seeing my name followed by “an obese 8 year old.” I remember feeling horrible about myself and wondering why they had to include that in the divorce paper work. I would love to say it motivated me to eat healthy and exercise but that was definitely not the case. My childhood after my parents divorce was traumatic and filled with abuse and neglect. I was often left to fend for myself in a house full of open and eat junk or minimal work food that I could manage to make myself at 8 years old like macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes. My food was always accompanied by sweet iced tea or kool-aid. Between my lack of food choices, parental intervention, lack of exercise and feelings I had no idea how to deal with I ate and ate and ate. I have no idea how much I weighed from the ages of 8-15 but know I never fit into kids or juniors clothing, I was in adult women’s clothing. Being short (currently 5’2) made clothes even more akward. I often dressed in boys clothing as they were always lose and I did not have to compare my clothing sizes to my girl friends as I was just seen as a tomboy. I’m high school I kept up my tomboy dress style but longed to wear shorts, skirts, dresses and tank tops. I was always much to ashamed of my body to ever do that. I graduated high school weighing 240 pounds. I did not even go to my high school graduation out of embarrassment because my gown was so tight it barely zipped. I had friends who accepted me as I was and even had my first boyfriend as a senior in high school. My boyfriend was 20 when I was 17 and we went on to get married and spend 9 years together. Again I wish I could say my eating habits changed but even when I left home at 18 and lived with my then boyfriend my terrible eating habits and lack of exercise continued. My boyfriend was 6’4 and weighed 250 pounds. I began eating more, matching his portions. Again I have no idea how much I weighed as I NEVER weighed myself. I started partying and using recreation drugs and lost some weight but never got down to anything shy of overweight. By the age of 20 I had stopped partying and went to college. I was so stressed out determined to do well in college I landed myself I the emergency room thinking I was having a heart attack which turned out to be a panic attack. I was also told my blood pressure was high and needed to see a primary doctor. I made a follow up appointment and was told in the office I weighed 234 pounds and my blood pressure was high. The doctor sent me for blood work and I returned to the office a week later. I was told I had high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol. Pretty depressing and overwhelming for only being 20 years old. Again, I wish I could say it promted me to change my eating and life style ways, did I mention I was not active at all? But sadly, it did not. I took my pills and kept on my same lifestyle for the next 7 years until I got divorced. I know this has been long winded so I will give you all who actually made it through this blog a break and I will continue again soon .

Recommended Posts